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Andrew Galarneau -- The Buffalo News – April 18, 2006 – Section: Entertainment One of Conan O'Brien's running bits is a segment where O'Brien and others shine flashlights under their chins and proclaim what life will be like in the unimaginably distant future ... "in the Year 2000." But what kind of zaniness might break out by the time O'Brien moves to 11:30 p.m.? For that, we must imagine life ... IN THE YEAR 2009. • The Orlando Bills will threaten to leave unless city taxpayers construct a new stadium equipped with 100,000 Barcaloungers sporting built-in beer taps. • The development quagmire on Buffalo's waterfront will finally end as global warming makes Swan Street the new "lakeshore." • Baseball will ban cattle steroids, too, after a ball ricochets off Yankees outfielder Miguel Lopez's biceps and into the stands but doesn't interrupt his grazing. • Good news of traffic returning to Main Street will be tempered by the installation of toll booths at each end. • The Seneca Buffalo Creek Casino will at last produce spinoff development - the Jeffery Freedman Bankrupcy-N-Bailbonds Bazaar. • The Peace Bridge's new span will finally be finished, but no one crosses because of the new U.S. Customs regulation requiring crossers to "deposit" a kidney first. • The Skyway will be destroyed in a series of controlled explosions after failing in its highly-touted role as the Bass Pro Aerial Fishing Pier. |